Borders Bookstore Romance Section - Love Found

No one could be more saddened to see the closing of the Borders Bookstore chain than Clay and I. Borders will always have a special place in my heart, because it's the place where we not only met (as I was signing copies of my novel The Perfect Shoe), but where we also married.

Yep - right in the middle of Borders Bookstore. 

Kimberly and Clay's Wedding at Borders Bookstore

I've always had fantastic book signings at Borders, using my awesome creative talent mixed with a little salesmanship to quickly sign 100 books in a two hour period without even having to advertise the signing event. Because of this, my local Borders would let me do pretty much anything I wanted in their store...including have my wedding there. The full story of how we came to have our wedding at Borders, though unique and beautifully unorthodox,  is actually quite sad and tragic.  I'll keep it short. (Click below to enhance your reading experience.)

Clay and I had planned a beautiful church wedding, with all the white bells and whistles that any bride would have dreamed of, planning to wed on a cool Sunday evening. I'd stroll down the aisle to Chrisette Michelle's Golden, in a golden gown, with a bouquet,  not of flowers, but a handmade bouquet of gold and clear beads and wire. We'd planned some pretty unique things - Clay was to put a toe ring on my toe, we'd do a sand mixing ceremony, and there was to be a six-minute portrait painting on a huge 8 x 5 canvas, while Fred Hammond sang "No Greater Love". (Yes, we had found an incredibly talented artist who had practiced dashing paint on the canvas and creating our images in just six minutes).

At the time that were planning our fabulous day, I had just completed writing my novel A Little Hurt Ain't Never Hurt Nobody, which captured every wedding detail perfectly, knowing that we'd be married before the book released, and had submitted it to the publisher. That was the closest I'd come to actually having that wedding. Tragically, with no advanced warning, and out of the clear blue sky, Clay's father suffered a heart attack and suddenly passed away on the eve of the wedding - just before the rehearsal dinner. As you can imagine, Clay, his mom, and his brothers were devastated.

Naturally, the wedding was postponed as Clay's family was consumed with shock, grief, and pain that I can't even imagine, as both my parents are still living today.

Anyway - fast forward to six months (and several thousand dollars, outdated invites, a stack of favors, a huge unpainted canvas, an unused limo, a lost reception, honeymoon cancellation fees, and so on and so on) later.  We still wanted to get married but the thought of re-doing a huge day was overwhelming for Clay. I couldn't possibly force him to try to recreate an event that would surely bring back such painful memories, so . . . 

I'd already nailed down a signing event at Borders, and as always -  I was looking for that extra creative edge to make the signing explosive, so I said . . . 

"You know what would be cool?"

"What?" Clay said.

"If we got married at the very place we met."

"At Borders?" he asked?

"Yep."

In our minds, we ran through the logistics, and gave Borders a call. They agreed to let me set up our 11 foot arch, decorate it with tulle and flowers, which I used as the backdrop for my signing event that day, then allowed me to use the manager's office as a dressing room where I got my make up done, changed into my gown, and glammed up. While I primped in the office, our friends showed up, having been invited via Evite and word-of-mouth only a few days before, gathered between rows of books and waited for my entrance.

Instead of Chrisette, Jamie Foxx serenaded my walk with When I First Saw You, (click below to enhance your reading experience).

Kimberly and Clay's Wedding at Border's Bookstore

I held my custom-made bead bouquet (which I still have by the way) and my son Drea escorted me down the aisle, with my train following. Clay, in his tuxedo, stood waiting under the decorated arch, flanked by Davion (serving as the best man I suppose), and our Pastor. No parents, no family, other than Drea and Davion - just whoever made their way out to Borders that evening. Every customer inside (and outside of Borders) watched us exchange vows, and we did get Fred to fly back out (via CD) to sing for the communion and sand mixing part of the service.  Shortly after, was the big kiss, which included a large dip on the end, for which I had to hold on to my tiara, and we were introduced for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Clay R. Hooker Jr.  Wedding cake was then served to our guests in the cafe portion of the store, where they greeted and congratulated us. And when I least expected it, Clay got down on one knee and slid a beautiful gold toe ring on my toe...just like I'd wanted.  How's that for African American Romance?

In the whole scope of things, it was as memorable a day as any wedding could be . . . and I sold A LOT of books that day too.  *wink!*

Too bad Borders is gone now . . . but we have pictures to show that it DID exist!


Click HERE to purchase a copy of A Little Hurt Ain't Never Hurt Nobody
Click HERE to purchase a copy of Bubbling Brown Sugar 
Click HERE to purchase a copy of my latest book Spoonin'

Click HERE to like me on Facebook.

Does Your Blog Site Need a Face Lift?

If you are bored with your Blogger/Blogspot blog template, there is help for you yet!  You can give your site an almost instant facelift with the use of a template. There are lots of free templates available for download that can give your site a fresh new look.

For starters, check out www.btemplates.com. There are literally thousands of templates to choose from so something is sure to fit your personality and style.  Once you've done that, do a little editing and Well-Ah!  It's like fresh paint on the walls of a drab room!  If you get stuck on the editing - remember this one SUPER important tip...Google is your friend!  If you can remember that, and use it - you will avoid frustration, save time, and have a great looking blog!

For Wordpress users - there are free templates available for you too, however I have not tread through the Wordpress waters yet, so I can't talk much about them. 

Now before you tell me free is not always best...I can agree - not always. But sometimes the best things in life are free. This might be one of them. Especially before you start spending money.

Enjoy my blog?  Read it on your Kindle! Just click below.

How to Get 10,000+ Visits to YOUR Website

I started this blog back in May of 2009. By "started", I mean I set up an account with Blogger, selected a standard template, tried to jazz it up a bit, and posted something I wrote.  It was a small rant on how I felt about Crocs on Men that I'd actually written on  www.MySpace.com in December of 2007. You can read it here if you'd like.

From that date to March of 2011, I had a whopping 342 visitors. That's right, two years - three hundred and forty two visitors. Then in April of this year - something happened. My blog traffic began to sky rocket. I began to get more and more visitors every day, and in June of this year had just under 3,000 visitors in one month.

How did I do that? No, I did not buy leads. I have better places to spend my money, like www.amazon.com or the shoe store. I'm not gonna tell you that there's a secret magic button out there that I pushed and suddenly my traffic increased, because that would be a lie.  Actually - I take that back; there was a secret, magic button. It was called work. Here are 3 things I did:

1. - I shifted my thinking and started taking my site seriously. I stopped playing around and focused on making my site worthy of visitors. I began to post content regularly, meaning at least once a week, and as frequently as once a day. Some posts got more attention than others; some got hardly any, but I became more consistent with my blogging frequency. Once I looked at my site as a tool to expand my business instead of an account with my name on it floating out in cyber space, things started changing. 

Thanks for visiting my site at www.kimberlytmatthews.com

2. - I truly customized and optimized my blog.  Blogger templates are great - I don't knock'em because you gotta start somewhere right? Well that is where I'd started, but it was also where I'd stopped. Until one day, quite proud of myself, I asked for a professional opinion. The feedback I received was..."It's fine if you want to stay where you are, but if you want to go to the next level - it's not gonna cut it." Just like that, my balloon had been deflated, but it only made me roll up my sleeves even more. My blog has definitely gone through a couple of face lifts to get it where it is today. There were a few bumps in the road, I'll admit, but the next time I had my blog assessed, it passed the test.

3. - I connected myself with some fantastic marketing tools and implemented some key strategies. I started looking into tools that would better connect me with readers, visitors and audiences who would find interest in my posts. There are several GOOD ones out there that are worth their weight in salt, but most are free. I started linking my blogs to my Facebook page, and using auto-posting tools to drive my traffic. 

In essence, I did the work; I built it and they came. Today, I've had over 22,000 visits - in just six months!

In in just a few weeks, I'll be releasing my Ebook, From No Site to Outta Site! How to Build Your Best Blog.  This ebook will share everything I did to I accomplished this and show you how to duplicate it.  If I can do it, you can do it too! Get ready to explode your exposure in 2012! Just Submit your email address on the form below, and I will notify you of it's release.  (Don't forget to share this post by clicking the "Like" button below.)

Enjoy my blog?  Read it on your Kindle! Just click below.

Sign Up Today!

* required

Email Address: *








Email Marketing Software by VerticalResponse

Relationship Magic - Part One

A Mini Excerpt from the novel Spoonin'

“Show me that rock girl,” Sydney grinned, then winked seductively. With a giggle I placed my hand into his, he kissed the backside then centered it on his crotch and I began fondling.

““Mmm,” he moaned. “Yeah, that’s it. Work that thing, baby.”

We’d played ‘show me the rock’ eight other times since he’d dressed my finger with his commitment. I’d show him the rock on my finger and he would show me the one in his pants. Once I got him to full attention, we would find somewhere to pull over and get our freak on. Didn’t matter where; sometimes it was right on the side of the road, as long as one of us kept our eyes open just in case a police cruiser rolled by. Other than that, every other driver on the highway was too busy trying to get to where they were going to pay much attention to us.

The first time we played, we made sure Casey was asleep then turned on a narrow little dirt road between some corn stalks, which was the perfect place for me to sit on the hood of the car, open my legs and show him how much I was looking forward to being his wife. For this round, I got on my knees turned towards the driver’s seat while he stood in the passenger door behind me, gripped my hips and laid his pipe. Woooo! I loved this game! It only took a couple of minutes per session but the risquéness made is so enjoyable. It was gonna be one of the things we did to keep our sex life hot and spicy once we tied the knot. 


-----------


Find out some Relationship Magic Tips! Just Click Here!

--------------

Tune in every day this month for mini excerpts from Spoonin and tips to keep your relationship hot!  

Liked it? Loved it? Share it! Just click the Facebook or Twitter icon. 

How to Be Your Best Self Every Day

How to Be Your Best Self Every Day

Posted on August 26, 2011 by Hans Johnson on www.danijohnson.com

28tweetsretweet

You’ve probably said at some point, “I’m having the time of my life!” But do you think about what that means? The time you spend, every day — that is your life! And how and where you spend it shapes you as a person.

We spend far too much time focused on the things that don’t matter, and often forget to spend our time on the things that really do count. That’s why this Dani Johnson’s strategy call, “How to Be Your Best Self Every Day” can be showing you just how, when and where you should be placing your time to make your life worth living!

When you listen to this call, you’ll hear Dani ask you some tough questions about:

• Family: are you devoting phone, TV and computer-free time to them each day?
• Work: are you rewarding those in your office for doing good work?
• Neighbors: are you helping neighbors through a tough time? Are you offering to lend a hand to those who may need it?

You can pick yourself up every day with simple rewards you might not even have known were there! So find out what they are during “Be Your Best Self,” and you will truly understand what it means to have the time of your life, and the time in your life, to make a difference.


Hover on the area below and click play for one of the best motivational messages you will here today!

Enjoy my blog?  Read it on your Kindle! Just click below.

Borders Bookstore African American Romance Section - K Matthews

No one could be more saddened to see the closing of the Borders Bookstore chain than Clay and I. Borders will always have a special place in my heart, because it's the place where we not only met (as I was signing copies of my novel The Perfect Shoe), but where we also married.

Yep - right in the middle of Borders Bookstore. 

Kimberly and Clay's Wedding at Borders Bookstore

I've always had fantastic book signings at Borders, using my awesome creative talent mixed with a little salesmanship to quickly sign 100 books in a two hour period without even having to advertise the signing event. Because of this, my local Borders would let me do pretty much anything I wanted in their store...including have my wedding there. The full story of how we came to have our wedding at Borders, though unique and beautifully unorthodox,  is actually quite sad and tragic.  I'll keep it short. (Click below to enhance your reading experience.)

Clay and I had planned a beautiful church wedding, with all the white bells and whistles that any bride would have dreamed of, planning to wed on a cool Sunday evening. I'd stroll down the aisle to Chrisette Michelle's Golden, in a golden gown, with a bouquet,  not of flowers, but a handmade bouquet of gold and clear beads and wire. We'd planned some pretty unique things - Clay was to put a toe ring on my toe, we'd do a sand mixing ceremony, and there was to be a six-minute portrait painting on a huge 8 x 5 canvas, while Fred Hammond sang "No Greater Love". (Yes, we had found an incredibly talented artist who had practiced dashing paint on the canvas and creating our images in just six minutes).

At the time that were planning our fabulous day, I had just completed writing my novel A Little Hurt Ain't Never Hurt Nobody, which captured every wedding detail perfectly, knowing that we'd be married before the book released, and had submitted it to the publisher. That was the closest I'd come to actually having that wedding. Tragically, with no advanced warning, and out of the clear blue sky, Clay's father suffered a heart attack and suddenly passed away on the eve of the wedding - just before the rehearsal dinner. As you can imagine, Clay, his mom, and his brothers were devastated.

Naturally, the wedding was postponed as Clay's family was consumed with shock, grief, and pain that I can't even imagine, as both my parents are still living today.

Anyway - fast forward to six months (and several thousand dollars, outdated invites, a stack of favors, a huge unpainted canvas, an unused limo, a lost reception, honeymoon cancellation fees, and so on and so on) later.  We still wanted to get married but the thought of re-doing a huge day was overwhelming for Clay. I couldn't possibly force him to try to recreate an event that would surely bring back such painful memories, so . . . 

I'd already nailed down a signing event at Borders, and as always -  I was looking for that extra creative edge to make the signing explosive, so I said . . . 

"You know what would be cool?"

"What?" Clay said.

"If we got married at the very place we met."

"At Borders?" he asked?

"Yep."

In our minds, we ran through the logistics, and gave Borders a call. They agreed to let me set up our 11 foot arch, decorate it with tulle and flowers, which I used as the backdrop for my signing event that day, then allowed me to use the manager's office as a dressing room where I got my make up done, changed into my gown, and glammed up. While I primped in the office, our friends showed up, having been invited via Evite and word-of-mouth only a few days before, gathered between rows of books and waited for my entrance.

Instead of Chrisette, Jamie Foxx serenaded my walk with When I First Saw You, (click below to enhance your reading experience).

Kimberly and Clay's Wedding at Border's Bookstore

I held my custom-made bead bouquet (which I still have by the way) and my son Drea escorted me down the aisle, with my train following. Clay, in his tuxedo, stood waiting under the decorated arch, flanked by Davion (serving as the best man I suppose), and our Pastor. No parents, no family, other than Drea and Davion - just whoever made their way out to Borders that evening. Every customer inside (and outside of Borders) watched us exchange vows, and we did get Fred to fly back out (via CD) to sing for the communion and sand mixing part of the service.  Shortly after, was the big kiss, which included a large dip on the end, for which I had to hold on to my tiara, and we were introduced for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Clay R. Hooker Jr.  Wedding cake was then served to our guests in the cafe portion of the store, where they greeted and congratulated us. And when I least expected it, Clay got down on one knee and slid a beautiful gold toe ring on my toe...just like I'd wanted.  How's that for African American Romance?

In the whole scope of things, it was as memorable a day as any wedding could be . . . and I sold A LOT of books that day too.  *wink!*

Too bad Borders is gone now . . . but we have pictures to show that it DID exist!

Click HERE to purchase a copy of A Little Hurt Ain't Never Hurt Nobody
Click HERE to purchase a copy of my latest book Spoonin'
Click HERE to like me on Facebook.

Enjoy my blog?  Read it on your Kindle! Just click below.

How to Make Your Dreams Come True - K Matthews

Guest Blogger - Rhonda Ferebee-Hammond

Create a Vision Board
Vision boards are a fantastic way of using your inner power so that you can attract all of the things in your life that you have always wanted for yourself and for your family. Everyone, no matter at what stage in life they are, wants to change something about his or her life. A vision board is the perfect way of making it happen!

Setting Up
Watch your vision come to life!

1. Gather scissors, magazine, glue or glue adhesive, poster board, binder or cork board. I am more of a mobile person and want my purpose to travel with me so I have a book, but it's up to you. 
2. Set aside some time about 2 hours to allow for the flow of your vision. Put on some great inspiration music or a audio book and set your mood and tone.
3. First get a piece of paper and jot down an outline of what you want to create 
4. Begin  to create your vision piece of work that represents your life, career, business etc, by cutting out pictures that represent your goals and vision,  and adding them to your board/book as it pertains to these 4 areas.

• Time
• Talent
• Treasure
• Temple 

10 Tips to Make it Work
There are some definitive ways of making sure that the items you have placed on your vision board come true. After sifting through hundreds of different ideas with this in mind, a rock solid and powerful top ten has been created. So if you want to make sure that what you want does come true then follow these tips.

1. Just for you - This is one of the most important things that people do not realize when they are making their own vision boards. Many people often use images that they think others would approve of or of things that society tells us are the right goals that we should be striving for. Make sure that you choose wisely what you want and that each picture, sound or word comes from within.

2. Listen to Music - Before and during the creation of your vision board it is a good idea to play a piece of music that makes your heart feel warm, it will allow you to put aside your "ego" as such and enable you to hear what your subconscious is trying to tell you. It also allows you to embed the images into your subconscious in a clearer way.

3. Belief - Making sure that you truly believe is also important as negative thoughts will make the process take longer. Understanding that things will not happen the very next day or even maybe at first is an important part, so that you do not get disheartened.

4. Use Affirmations - Using affirmations to work alongside your vision board will super charge it with extra power allowing you to bring your hopes and dreams into fruition more quickly and on a larger scale.

5. Surround Yourself - Surrounding yourself with reminders of your vision board and your goals is very important, as it allows you to keep your mind "topped up" with the sight, sounds and even in some cases, smells, of what you want to accomplish and bring to your life.

6. Add mood colors - Adding colors that represent your goals can help in a fast acting way. It is said that certain colors help us to feel a certain way. For example; blue is known to be a calming color, yellow, friendly and happy, and red is associated with excitement.

7. Make one at a time - Having too many vision boards can distract your mind from the goal you are trying to achieve. This can effectively splits your visions and the power to make them happen splits, too. By sticking to one specific board, you make sure that the full power is on it and not just a slice.

8. Meditate - Meditation is another fantastic way to help you while using a vision board. Imagining that you have this specific life, career etc., and seeing yourself do things, helps to push your mind into the image, sending out very strong signals.

9. Make things specific - Too many different ideas on your board can create a conflict, and you will find that you become stumped as you only find part of each one materializing. Keep your theme constant, this makes it powerful.

10. Forgive yourself - By forgiving yourself of any past problems that carry any guilt or pain you are able to eradicate the negative from your subconscious mind for good! This is a pivotal point because without it you will only be held back. So give yourself a break, relax and let the negative past wash away from your mind for good.

Now that you are equipped with tips for creating your Vision in life,  get started with creating your Vision Board, Book, or Box. Get creative, have some fun -  it is your life, your destiny only you define your future.

We hope you enjoyed these tips and suggestions and would love to hear your testimony's of your goals and dreams. Please email us at wedoevents@gmail.com for more info on or our Vision Board Creation Parties and a free 20 minute Dream Coaching Consultation.

Rhonda Ferebee-Hammond
Christian Dream Coach
CEO-Founder
Positive With Purpose, LLC
Facebook Networking Group
Infinite Vending Facilitator
www.positivewithpurpose.com
www.vissonpurpose.com

Another GREAT Book Marketing Tool! - K Matthews

Get an EReader Display for Your Book!  

Spoonin' Display for Ipad

Spoonin' Display for Kindle

What an awesome way to promote your book!  Orders yours TODAY!

What you will get:
 - a jpeg image of your book cover displayed a Kindle, Kindle Fire, Nook or IPad layout
 - Super-fast turnaround (24-72 hours)
 - Secured ordering site
 - a portion of all proceeds will be donated to http://www.kingsransomfoundation.org/


Get both images for only 2/$25 (or less!)
  Just click here to order 

Enjoy my blog?  Read it on your Kindle! Just click below.

Free Social Networking Training - K Matthews

To fully enjoy this post, click the play button below!





Over the past 10 days, I've become more and more convinced that if you're serious, success is yours for the taking!  IF YOU'RE SERIOUS! There are so many training tools out here that it's ridiculous to say you don't know how to do something.

I am so excited to share my latest finding with you - A COMPLETE library of social media training.  I mean complete, step-by-step, front-to-back, beginning-to-end training for Facebook and other social media networks to get you, your business, your service, your product, and/or your book, on and poppin'!

There is even a Business in a Box set up - A COMPLETE business all set up for you, and all you have to do is open the box.  Are you freaking kidding me? There's just no excuse for failure.

If you are serious about grabbing your success, click on the banner  (yep - that big purple square) and let's get it!

 Come on and ride the train!

Your Favorite Favicon . . . YOURS! - K Matthews

Have you noticed (and I'm sure you have) that when you go to many websites, a logo is displayed on the browser tab? For example, Facebook's white F on the blue background, or Amazon.com's  letter A with the smirky smile underneath. Or that super cute picture of me when you visit my site. :-)

Well that is a favicon - a mini logo display attached to a website.  Do you have one of those?  No?  Did you know you could get one of those, and put more professional polish on your site?  (I see you beginning to smile now. . . )  If you use a blogger site, (or probably any other blog platform) this is super simple to do from your design page.  If you use other hosting - here is a link that can help you get YOUR favicon up in minutes. http://websitefreebies.net/favicon.html.  And you know I love free stuff . . . this is one of them! :-)

Don't cheat yourself out of a great thing; get more great marketing tips RIGHT HERE! and take your business to the next level.

PLEASE Let Me Be Your Slave! - K Matthews

Lavar Burton depicted as a slave

"Please, please, PLEASE!  Please let me be your slave! I don't want to be free! I want to serve you, work for you, have you riding my back, and will even take your abuse for more years than I can count!  PLEASE!  I'm begging you! Here is all my information, my social security number, my home address, my bank account number and my momma's name.  I will do anything I need to do just to be your slave; I promise! "

Can you imagine yourself doing that? Literally begging someone to rule and control your life.

Doesn't that sound crazy? Of course it does! Do you know that every time you fill out a credit card application, or charge something to your credit card (with the intentions of not paying it off right away) that is what you are saying? You are asking and agreeing to be someone's slave.

I don't like this picture of Lavar Burton depicted as a slave. Really, it's hard for me to look at any slave images, but the harsh reality was, this is what I looked like financially. When I came to this realization, that I had willingly asked to be a slave, (and not just to one "master" but to a few) I had to bring everything to a complete halt and reassess my thinking. Here is the crazy part - because I have a good credit score, I was PROUD of my ability to ask and be accepted as a new slave! Completely ecstatic to be branded, proudly opening my wallet in front of my friends, cashiers, waiters - whomever to show off my branding of who actually owned me.  Oh my goodness!  What in the world was I thinking? I had lost my daggone mind! I mean really - who in the world wants to be a slave? Only those who are ignorant to how freeing freedom is.

I had to make a decision to stop being ignorant, and stop begging folks to let me be a slave. I had to take responsibility of my financial choices. I had to take a hard look of how I was spending my money. And yes - I had to repent -Lord, forgive me for my financial stupidity!

So - is this you? Are you a slave and proud of it?  I challenge you to take control.  YOU take the shackles off - your masters are NOT going to do it, but YOU can. If you are ready, and if you are serious - click here for a great place to start your escape!  If you are not serious - you can stay in shackles all you want - but as for me? Slavery in America ended before I was even born and I refuse to go backwards - I'm outta here!

The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is  servant to the lender. - Proverbs 22:7



Kimberly T. Matthews
Amazon.com Best Selling Author

Download a FREE Sample!

=======================================

Enjoy my blog? Get it on your Kindle!  Just click below.

Have You Had Your Brown Sugar Today? - K Matthews

To experience full reading pleasure - click the play button below



Here's an excerpt from Lisa's Dress - my own contribution to the anthology Bubblin' Brown Sugar. 

     It sounds stupid, but I stood in my bedroom closet in complete darkness for ten minutes, then I eased to the floor like a helium balloon with a tiny pin prick allowing air to slowly escape, folded my arms across my knees and dropped my head. In the closet, no one, not even I, could see my tears.

     I'd actually come in the closet to pick a suit to wear to church, trying to force myself to go. It had been weeks since my last appearance, and the more I stayed away, the more various people reached out to me to make sure I was alright. I was too ashamed to tell them the truth, to admit I'd messed up, to ask for help. So to prove to everyone that they were worried about me for nothing, I was going to force myself to enter the house of the Lord, clap my hands when the choir sang, shout out a few amens when the pastor preached, and just tell everyone that I'd simply been working overtime. But the first thing my eyes fell on when I walked in the closet today was Lisa's wedding dress. It was hanging where it had always hung since we married just under five years ago. Zipped in a clear garment bag, mid-way the rack, it had served as a separator between her clothes and mine. I'd been in this same closet a thousand other times since our break-up, and barely even saw the dress, but today the shimmering white fabric embellished with Svorkian crystals demanded my attention and held me captive.

     Lost in a sea of thought, I stood motionless, except my eyes which randomly scanned the garment until I flicked the light off. I remembered how Lisa took my pure breath away that day, our wedding day, gliding towards me like the angel she was. And still is. And just like now, it had brought tears to my eyes, overwhelmed that God would bestow upon me such favor to bless me with a woman like Lisa. No, not a woman like Lisa, but with Lisa. No one but the two of us knew at the time, but my seed was hidden deep within her belly, and that, mixed with her radiant beauty, forced me to take my handkerchief from my pocket to absorb the slow trickle of moisture that had expressed to our audience the emotion I felt that day. She was my queen and I vowed to honor and treat her as such. It's funny how tears can express both unspeakable joy and unspeakable pain.

     My own sniff broke the silence for just a fraction of a second, and even though I was hidden from the world, I refused to bawl, although it's exactly what I felt like doing. Instead, I shifted to lie on my back, staring up towards a ceiling I couldn't see, looking for what I'd been frantic to find for three years now - a ray of light.


Purchase your copy of Bubblin' Brown Sugar - just click!

I Got Caught Cheating (SMH!) - K Matthews

To fully enjoy this post -  click the play button below.




I hate cheating. I hate songs about cheaters.  - Secret Lovers, As We Lay, any song that has to do with someone indulging in sexual pleasures with someone they ain't got no business laying up with just makes me shake my head in disgust (although I'll admit that musically, Me and Mrs. Jones is a hard one not to like). I am irritated by people who brag about cheating - like it's honorable and they should get some kind of award. As if what they are doing isn't hurting someone somewhere - wreaking emotional havoc on the lives of their families, or maybe just a husband or wife. Cheating is awful. Nothing good ever comes from it.

So it is with great shame that I make this public confession that I've cheated. Yep. I have. Multiple times. Sigh. (SMH at myself). Somehow, some way, I found myself caught up in a nasty, shackling, sordid affair.  It's been an awful, unfulfilling, shameful and damaging experience. But it's nothing that I can't come back from.

Now before you throw rocks and start sharing my confession with all your friends - hear me out. I didn't do the oochie-coochie with some man who was not my husband, (the most compassionate, loving and romantic man in the world) or some woman for those of you who started the whole "Kimberly is now gay" rumor. I cheated on myself. Betrayed myself. Broke my own trust. Yeah. It's sad but true.

I knew better than to give those cookies the time of day. I mean, I already knew they were no good and just full of it (sugars and bad stuff that is). And yes, I knew the same thing about the ice cream and other processed foods. But stupidly, I thought I wouldn't, I couldn't get caught out there dealing with the ramifications that this type of affair brings.

I promised myself that I wouldn't get emotionally connected, and after the first time, I felt guilty and said it would never happen again, but I was only fooling myself. Before I knew it, I was cuddling up watching movies and late-night TV with sugary midnight snacks, instead of embracing the foods that truly loved me and my body. I pretended to find fault with the good stuff, the right stuff (fruits and veggies) -  ignoring, ducking and hiding from them, hoping that they hadn't noticed that I'd come in the grocery store and had made a quick dash around a corner to the aisles where my guilty pleasures called out to me.  Then I'd be scorned and angry when I couldn't find my favorites in the store, wondering why all of a sudden they were missing in action, making me chase them down all around the city. They were probably laid up with some other woman! The nerve!

Last week - I came to my senses when I opened up my cabinet and saw 5, FIVE bags of potato chips. Different varieties, and every single bag opened.  There were plain chips, sour cream and onion chips, chili and cheese chips, cheddar cheese chips, and ridged chips. It didn't matter that I had produce in the fridge. Who was I kidding? The grapes, strawberries, watermelon, tomato, cucumber and a little salad mix that were there had all started to go bad and had to be thrown out.  I tried to paint the picture of a healthy, wholesome and right relationship in the refrigerator, but lurking in the dark shadows of the pantry cabinet was the truth. I was a cheater. NO WONDER my old clothes decided to pack themselves away and leave me!

Busted, there was nothing else I could do but have a long conversation with myself - belly, butt and thighs included. I had to confess, repent and beg myself for forgiveness. I was reminded of how much I really do love real food, and what an incredible and loving relationship we' ve had over the years. Those foods really did do right by me and kept me pleased and satisfied. Some of my absolute favorite meals had been comprised of fresh fruits and vegetables, (Mediterranean Chicken Wraps for example). My straying away had been stupid, foolish and selfish as well as unnecessary.

In my efforts to restore a right relationship, I had to promise to avoid the aisles of the grocery store and shop the perimeters instead, where the REAL food is. I had to promise to eat fresh foods at EVERY meal. No more hot dogs with a side of chips and a glass of Hawaiin Punch as a meal. I had to promise that if I do have a craving for chips, or cookies, or ice cream that I will only buy a single serving - not a large bag, package or box, making it too easy to have some now AND have some more later.

A better choice over sugary processed foods.

Thankfully, with these promises in place, I was willing to give myself another chance. It's going to take some counseling and some work, but I'm going to prove to my body and my clothes that they can once again trust me. I look forward to reconciling with my size eights.

Confession is good for the soul...and the waistline. Need some inspiration? Check out this blog. A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss.


Click here to enter my August Reader's Rewards Contest!