Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Hey Author . . . Wanna Buy a Review? - Lessons from Sesame Street

We can't blame the review salesman too much . . . he got it from watching Sesame Street!  




Lefty: Hey Author . . . come here! You look like a talented writer.

Author:  I do?? Oh yeah, I do! Sure.

Lefty:  You look like someone who'd be interested in boosting your book sales.

Author:  Boosting sales? Sure, why not. Are you a salesman?

Lefty:  Riiiiight.

Author:  What do you sell?

Lefty:  Reviews.

Author: Reviews like what authors are supposed to honestly get from readers! That's kind of a weird thing to be selling.

Lefty: Listen. Ya take this 5 star review here, see. It's very useful!  Ya buy it . . . ya post it on your book site.

Author:  Why should I buy it and post it on my site?

Lefty:  The next time you feel like your sales are slumping . . . ya share the review!  Or you tryna make a best selling list . . . dig the review! Or if another author is beatin' the pants offa ya in book sales . . . post a negative review to his book page.  Now . . . ya wanna buy a review?





Kimberly T. Matthews



"I knew exactly how many condoms were left in his gym bag, in a little black box, wrapped in gold foil. Seven. Each time I randomly checked for no other reason besides I knew they existed, there'd always been seven. So I was taken aback that morning when I went to do his laundry, peeked in the box and only found three..."

 Lisa from - "Lisa's Dress" 



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7 comments:

MAJK said...

I'd had heard that there were people selling reviews but I thought maybe they were just rumors. Still I could totally see this.

It's frustrating if this is happening because it makes ALL 5 star reviews suspect even legitimate ones.

*~MAJK~*

Claude Forthomme said...

Cracked me up too!

Luke Montgomery said...

If that isn't bad enough, I was at a writer's conference last month and one of the featured speakers is a newspaper reviewer who has been in the business for years. She said that many of the endorsements, you know the type,

"...captivating, couldn't put it down, made me late for my barber's appointment three weeks in a row. Definitely a must-read." Lush Rimbaugh

are written by the publisher, and that money exchanges hands. It's a sick world where nothing is as it seems.

Author Adrienne Thompson said...

Riiiiight!! lol!! Love thid!

Author Adrienne Thompson said...

*this

Chicki Brown said...

I remember this from when my daughters were little! Great analogy, Kimberly. Purchasing reviews only taints our industry even more...

K. Millionaire said...

Sesame Street definitely had its life lessons built in! LOL Glad you enjoyed it!